'Take your time off [and] look for a new job': Professional caretaker who has never taken a day off requests 5 days off for her wedding, entitled employers give her sass

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Mar 21, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

"They're the type of people who took a super long honeymoon and have never had to worry about money so they just don't treat people like me (not rich) like we're even people."

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  • Nothing like working for wealthy entitled families, amiright?? Haha No. No, thank you. It's insane how out of touch the extremely wealthy can be. They treat anyone under their employment as “the help” and thus, lesser than them. Even if that employee is doing something that keeps them alive and healthy. 

    Take, for instance, this professional caretaker. She has come to Reddit to see if she is just being “dramatic” or if her employers are really entitled and the internet spells it out pretty clearly for her that they are just entitled. She works as their in-home caretaker and was hired by their son. So technically, they aren't even her actual boss, their son is. However, they treat her like gum on their shoe. She has never once asked to take a day off, however, she is getting married. So she requested 5 days off and provided a very thorough and well-thought-out plan for them to still get care while she is away. And yet, they still scoff at her and think she is in the wrong. What would you do in this situation?

    Need a break from the drama? Check out these funny failed handyman memes! 

  • 01
    They seem to think I don't deserve a break. I've made arrangements so that they will be well taken care of in my absence... They don't even see me as a person. I'm just "the help."
    via agilemktg1 via flickr
  • 02
    People I work for think I don't deserve time off. S I, f25, was hired to care for two elderly people (m88, f87) in their home by their son. Cooking, cleaning, driving, helping with tech issues etc. I've never taken leave, I worked the day before and the day after Christmas.
    via DomiBlushes1998
  • 03
    There are 43 Business days in March and April. I'm taking off 5 of those days. I've never asked for leave at this job. The leave falls around a weekend... I'm getting married. The two people I work for think it's ridiculous that I'm taking so much time off. I over heard one say "she's at home more than she's at work the first half of the year."
    via DomiBlushes1998
  • 04
    They seem to think I don't deserve a break (note I've made arrangements so that they will be well taken care of in my absence which was approved by my actual boss, their son) How should I handle this, I feel like they don't even see me as a person. I'm just "the help" Are they entitled or am I just dramatic?
    via DomiBlushes1998
  • 05
    www Illustrious-Park1926 4 days ago Take your time off. After your married look for a better job. I've known people that did home care, through an agency. When regular agency providers take time off, frequently the clients & their children acted like home care people were the "help" & lazy. This is through an agency that has all necessary hours covered. You would think clients would be kinder to regular help so they would want to keep working for the same client.
    via Illustrious-Park1926
  • 06
    Nope, the client tries to guilt the regular provider, (we treat you so good -- Why would you leave mom for a week, don't you care about her -- people are so lazy, no one wants to work -- etc.) Clients can be jerks & inconsiderate of their home health aides.
    via Illustrious-Park1926
  • 07
    Egregious Weasel · 4 days ago I can't fathom how people can be so awful. The hospice workers who came to take care of my mom were so lovely and kind. I would never have been able to take care of her the way they did. I'm so grateful for them. Thank you for what you do.
    via EgregiousWeasel
  • 08
    westcoastsunflower 3 days ago I started home care for my mom a few months back. The company came recommended by a local Reddit group lol. They have literally saved my sanity. No more taking time off work to take mom to appts, shopping, banking etc. mom loves her regular caregiver. They talk about gardening, politics and all sorts of things. Worth every penny! Thank you to all of you for helping. It's not a job I could do but you make it look easy. Take the time off you need and enjoy every minut
    via westcoastsunflower
  • 09
    . morgecroc 4 days ago I don't get yes it's a job someone is doing for you but personal care is different. I don't get how you can't treat someone like that poorly. My mum treated her carers like Family, which in my case is with kindness and understanding not guilt and pressure. We all understood how important my mum's primary carer was to her wellbeing and having someone stressed out and overworked won't help that.
    via morgecroc
  • 10
    . Both Painter2466 4 days ago They DO think if you as just "the help." Do not prioritize them. Ignore their protests. They are just "the patients." Impersonal and professional.
    via Both_Painter2466
  • 11
    Tiggles21 4 days ago Yup. As long as their son isn't on your case, you're in good shape. They think of you as "the help" because you literally are "the help". So just as the cashier has to deal with the angry customer about things that they (the cashier) have no control over, you may have to put up with a bit of lash- back from your "customers" while maintaining a "the customer is always right" poker face. But don't derail your life for them, and definitely don't let them spoil your wedding/week
    via Tiggles21
  • 12
    And not that it really changes the situation, but knowing how long you've been with them might help to better assess the situation. "I've never asked for a single day of leave before" doesn't carry much weight if you've only been there for two weeks, for example. (And yes, I know it's longer than two weeks due to the Christmas comments).
    via Tiggles21
  • 13
    The Red467 3 days ago Fun fact. The phrase "the customer is always right" has another part to it that often gets forgotten about. It goes, "the customer is always right in matters of taste" meaning if you feel like mixing polka dots and stripes in bright garish colours, go right ahead. That's as far as it goes. Anyhoo OP look for other employment, it's your patients that are the entitled
    via TheRed467
  • 14
    Maximum-Swan-1009 4 days ago Unfortunately, most employers see their staff as "just the help". This isn't unique to home care. Speak to their son, who is your true employer, and tell them how his parents comments hurt you and that if they are unsatisfied with what you do for them, you would be happy to leave. Negotiate more vacation days.
    via Maximum-Swan-1009
  • 15
    glenmarshall 4 days ago Live your life as you will. Your clients have de-personalized you, you can respond in kind. 20 Reply Share Justan Old BabyBoomer 4 days ago You have every right to take time off to get married and have a honeymoon. The complainers are being spoiled brats! 20 Reply Share
    via glenmarshall

    JustanOldBabyBoomer

  • 16
    Finwolven 4 days ago Congratulations on your wedding, and since they're being such babies about it, consider taking the 10 days you're also allowed to take for a relaxing honeymoon. You did say you have 15 vacation days per year, right? Use them all, odds are you won't be working for them a full year anymore anyway. After all, once you've married, you'll want to actually spend some time with your husband on the regular, right? They won't stand for that.
    via Finwolven
  • 17
    SamuelVimesTrained 4 days ago You`re getting married - and they have an issue with that? They are the entitled ones - not you. If this were me - i would say "i`m getting married, my husband will take care of me, i'll not need to work ever again consider this my notice" (of course, if you could afford to) Then look for something else - not these nasty people.
    via SamuelVimesTrained
  • 18
    Numerous_Exercise_44 4 days ago Old folk sometimes don't like changes and can grumble a lot. You are entitled to your leave. They are stuck in a ever decreasing circle of social events and activities. Don't worry about what the old folk say about your leave. If the son has ok'd it, there is no problem. He probably realises they are moaners and is pleased about what you do to help them. Let them moan.
    via Numerous_Exercise_44
  • 19
    • PokadotExpress 4 days ago Like everyone who works in healthcare, you will come to hate the entitled elderly. I've seen lots of homecare leave houses in tears. Unfortunately, these people will act like you're in indentured servatitude. You're not, live your life and don't take these comments. Reverse uno "did you not get time off for your wedding?" Or "I'm sorry you guys can't manage without me, maybe we should look into moving you to a facility where you can get round the clock cade?" You dese
    via PokadotExpress
  • 20
    SilentJoe1986 - 4 days ago Not dramatic. You're doing a job, also you work for their son. Hes your boss, not them. Talk to him about this and make sure he's happy. Frame like you're concerned because his parent said blah blah blah. They're his parents. He knows how they are. I bet he rolls his eyes and you two can be on the same page.
    via SilentJoe1986
  • 21
    Sea-Substance8762 4 days ago You have to teach people how to treat you. You've taught them that you don't deserve time off. To get married. Starting now, decide how you want to move forward. 4 days on, 1 day off? 5 days on, 2 days off? You're not a servant. You're entitled to days off. State your needs and start taking yourself seriously!!!! And enjoy your wedding!
    via Sea-Substance8762

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